Thursday, February 19, 2009

Happy Valentine Year!

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day! The day came and went without much excitement in my house. Which got me thinking. This year as I'm making my business goals and coming up with new art projects and starting Mops and my Son starting school it's going to be a very busy year. How will I be able to keep my marriage healthy , it's the most important relationship I have in life next to God. I think I came up with a solution for this year. & it just so happens to include a craft project and a journaling opportunity.

What I materialistically would've liked for Valentines Day was Wine, Roses, Jewelry, Candy. All of the usual lovely things that gets a girls heart melting but what I really needed was not any of those things. It was to stop everything for my husband & show him he is still the #1 relationship I will have here on Earth.
A great and wise friend taught me a lesson in my marriage that I hope I will always remember & that must be shared. I even have to use some of her own words to explain it because it's so new to me I don't feel I could explain the concept as well as she did.

So here it is. ... None of us deserve roses and wine and chocolates and our husband don't deserve a clean house to come to. We do those things because we are loved but NOT because we earned them! We have to follow Christ's example in this - We love because He loved us first. Practicing this in our marriages for a few months will show huge changes. We learn that we are not keeping tallies for each other that we are doing things for each other simply because we love each other. God's example of love isn't 50/50. It is 100/0. In a truly Godly relationship, the ratio looks like this 100/100. You are responsible for only your 100, even if your spouse does a big fat zero in the relationship. But it is your 100 that will move your spouse to respond. I've learned that I cannot give 100% on my own but that I have to ask God to help me. Otherwise we might get upset when our spouse doesn't respond the way we want.

Didn't she say that so simply and beautifully? Thank you so much Jenny for opening my eyes to this lesson. So on a daily basis, maybe even hourly I will have to be very conscience of the energy I'm putting into showing my husband my love.

Right after I had my second child my husband was in a job he hated and yet he worked so hard at this physically and emotionally draining job. Since we were on such a tight budget I also had to make his lunches everyday so to show my gratitude for him taking care of our family financially and in all other aspects I wrote in my notebook 365 reasons i loved him. Then I decorated some notebook paper and wrote down each one individually. I cut out these pieces of paper and put them on top of his lunch so that every day no matter how hard a day he was having I hoped he would know how much we all loved him for taking care of us. Now that he has a job he loves he was able to relay that when I did that for him it was really helpful to keep his mind on the big picture.

Everyday I will write something down that I loved about him. Whether it's something he did or just something I admired about him that day. Since I started on Valentines Day. My journal looks like this so far.

By next year on Valentine's Day I will have 365 more reasons I love him. It might even serve as part of his gift next year for him to see all the good he's done that year and how I appreciate him.

It sounds complicated and time consuming but you can try and conform this project how it will work for you. Maybe you have a daily planner you could jot something down in everyday. Maybe you can only remember to do it once a week. However you do it. I guarantee it will be appreciated.

I chose to use these Crown tags with Studs to write my daily affirmations to my husband because of the masculine feel these tags have but here are a few more options I have put in my Etsy shop.

Happy Valentine Year!


The Whispering Poppies said...

Oh my gosh, how sweet and beautiful is this?! Your friend has given some very wise words which I will heed, too! I've left little love notes in my daughter's school lunch bag often, but it's probably about time I start leaving a few for my hard-working hubby! =)

Barb said...

That is a beautiful idea!

Have to tell you quickly what my daughter did for my 60th birthday last year.

She put together a box that had "60 good things' cards in it. They were anywhere from Scripture verses, to old photos, to cartoons, to a drawing by one of my granddaughters. There were stickers, old postcards, and short sayings.
I could choose how i wanted to use them; read them all at once, one day at a time, or whenever i felt like reading one. I chose the latter.
So, since Sept 16th, whenever i felt the need or want, i would draw one out and read it. Then i would leave it sitting out for however long i wanted and then file it in the back of the box.
This has been great, and i have still not read all of them!!

The great part is all the time, love, and creativity that went into it (each and every 'card' is different).

Thanks for the reminder of my wonderful present, and i love your idea of sharing with someone their special qualities, or thanking them for something every day!!

Oh, Do you think it would be OK to copy what your friend said.
We are giving a 1/2 day talk on marriage in April to a women's group. Those would be great.


Barbara Jean

Preppy Mama said...

I love the whole idea. Very sweet and very personal...which often gets lost through out the entire year. Thanks for sharing.

Bev said...

I just love the look of your tag journal! I hope he cherishes it.

The Rose Room said...

Wonderful words of wisdom that I am going to apply. Thank you:) Rachaelxo

andrea villarreal said...

Great post. I too was a very young mom of three. I am 35 now and have been married for 18 years and I absolutely believe that you get back what you put in. Giving 100 percent of yourself is the only way for marriages to not only survive but thrive! And I so love your tag book idea:) I am off to take a peak at your etsy shop.

Debra said...


Thanks for stopping in at my blog. Love the Valentines idea. I too have a great guy. While I would love all the "stuff" for Valentines, it really isn't necessary. This year he spent the entire Saturday helping re-do my craft room. It was a great day and worth more than all the "stuff".

Jeanneoli said...

What a beautiful idea. Your husband is helps us to see the big picture. I love the tags with the studs on them. I also wanted to let you know that your article was lovely in Artful Blogging.

Ragamuffin Gal said...

What a delightful array of goodies and so beautifully photographed! I just want to stop by and say a BIG Congrats on your article in Artful Blogging! I held it up at Barnes and Nobles and told everyone around that this was my lovely swap partner in the Enchanted Swap! I was quickly escorted out of the magazine section (just kidding) but I did have to have a double mocha latte just to take all the wonderfulness in. Many Blessings,

Melinda Cornish said...

You have a handle on it that is for sure....beautiful and true words....melinda

Brooks said...

Angela, that is beautiful. Our husbands work so hard to provide that a few minutes of our time daily is really not too much work. I love what your friend said too. Its soooo true. Makes you think about the important things and forget about the wasteful ones.


The Whispering Poppies said...

I put your treasures on my blog today! =)

Kathy said...

What a beautiful post...and your photos are gorgeous!

PS~Erin said...

I think that is a splendid idea. So very special. I just got done reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and I love what he said about love being a choice. Sometimes those lovey feelings just aren't there, but we can still choose to do things to show our love. I think you are doing just that.

My husband actually stepped out of the norm this year. He is not a flowers type of guy. Or really a present giver. He is wonderful is so many other ways, but I found myself disappointed on bdays and vday and such. THere's hope though. He baked me a cake this year. (I posted pics on my blog). Wow.

Can't wait to hear how your present is recieved next year! Thanks for the inspiration.

As Seen Through My Eyes.... said...

dear dear Angela,
I couldn't find your email so I am using this space to thank you for my beautiful gift of crepe frills and the heart tag that you sent me from the One World One Heart caravan.
Each item is a treasure and the way that you put it all together just thrilled me!! Thank you so much!
You truly have a unique and special talent.
I wrote a bit about finding your gift on my blog today, and linked back to your blog so more people can find you as an inspiration.
Thank you, Angela!!

Jennifer Paganelli said...

First off Angela you are gorgeous....totally beautiful and a hopeless romantic the kind I admire!!!:)

Kids Napping? I'm Scrapping! said...

So clever Angela! :) You are bursting with good and creative ideas.

Michelle said...

Thank you for all your georgous your tags, and flowers. You inspired me to make some new tags up this weekend using some "fabric wrappings", check them out at my blog if you get a chance. I'm giving some to my secret pal at church, and some others to bless here and there.:)