Today I'm grateful for the timing of God and his graceful ways. I began the day at my Mothers of Preschoolers group to hear a testimony of leaning on god in the time of a loss. A member shared her loss of her Granparents. I don't consider myself a very emotional person but it was hard to see such a upbeat happy friend be upset and therefore a few tears were shed.
As timing goes, when I arrived home only an hour later I learned that my extremely Lovely Penpal Leota who is my children's Great Great Grandma has cancer and is now in a nursing home on heavy medication.
Somewhat normal to hear of someone her age. Not necessarally shocking but she was living on her own only weeks ago. In every one of her letters she has the most beautiful and readable handwriting and in every letter I laugh outloud at least once at her amazing sense of humor .
I've learned today that I won't be able to see her before she passes as it will be somewhat soon.
I have a bit of regret for not driving the 6 hours it takes to get to her to have coffee with her and listen to her stories and her lessons. I hate that all of the wonderful things she knows and has learned I didn't soak up from her.
All I want is to speak with her and hear that she knows how much we love her and how much her presence here was cherished.
On top of saying Goodbye to my beloved Leota, I will also be making a trip to my parents house to photograph my kids with a very close friend of mine when I was a child.
His name is Charlie and he is over 15 years old. He is my Beagle Puppy.
He no longer has the energy to eat, stand or walk. We think he will be leaving us soon also.
When I turned 24 years old this year it was one fo the only days I can remember in my life where I felt I needed to brace myself for my adult life. I know I am extremely young, just a kid but it's time to know what all human beings learn, what life brings as time goes on. The reality that is saying goodbye to loved ones and praising God to for new life.
Bless all of you in your times of praise or loss!
5 comments:
Awe Angela, this was so heartfelt. I wish you a safe trip to your parents and that you have wonderful lasting memories with Charlie.
Unfortunately, this is LIFE dear...sometimes full of smiles, sometimes a heavy heart. But we learn so much from both.
everything vintage
Hi there, I visit your blog often for inspiration...sorry for impending loss....safe trip to you and yours:)
Abby
Angela, My heart aches for you and I can't believe how similar our stories are! Just like you and your precious grandma Leota, I lost my grandfather who was also my penpal all my life, this year. He also lived far away in another state and I was not able to get out to see him before he passed away this year at age 85.
I had something worth far more than a visit though in having a lifetime of written correspondence with him! My grandmother says that just days before his passing that he received one of my letters chocked full of photos and things going on in my life. She said that every person who came through the door was greeted with a reading of my letter and a viewing of my photos! I know that he knew how much I loved him and I know that your grandmother knows it too. You have something far better to hang onto than memories now, you have written words of how much she loved you and enjoyed your visits through the mail.
Grief can be so hard but I found a lot of comfort through the grieving and loss support section of the www.planetgiftbaskets.com website. They had so many beautiful articles under the "Sympathy and Grief Resources" section on the lower left hand side of their website that I was surprised to find when ordering a sympathy gift. Please check it out, find some comfort and know how much your grandma loves and will always love you. :)
hugs
So sorry to hear of your sadness. I had to put our dog down at the beginning of the year, but it was best...no more suffering.
Know that you must treasure all the wonderful memories, surround yourself with things of loved ones to bring their memories to your daily life. That dish, or apron, or letter....Make the best of everything.
In your "adult" life, don't sweat the little things...like your kids leaving the house without a coat or the spilt milk on the kitchen floor....the less stupid stress, the better your life will flow.
Lots of huggs....
Bev
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